I've given up on trying to impress my parents. I've already disappointed them in the few biggest ways I could ever have, so I see no point in trying to undo those mistakes. I'm glad I've stopped caring as much as I use to. I'm applying to art school next year, probably without letting my parents know (at least until I acquire some sort of substantial admission). At least, that's the plan. If I thought the way my father does, or had the same thoughts as he does in my own head, I probably would have killed myself ages ago. I don't mean that hyperbolically, but honestly. I can not understand how that man lives with himself. I've never been in a relationship and now I can understand why. It's because I don't let myself. I don't trust myself, and I think that's one instinct of mine I truly admire; the fact that I can look after myself, when it comes to relationships. I'm aware of what I'm capable of and internally, I'm greatly aware of why I do the things I do. Lately, I've been thinking: it's summer, you have time and money and no real commitments, now that school is over. I could meet new people, try out that plentyoffish site everyone's been talking about. But I've noticed that every time I consider it, I remind myself that I'm not in a really stable place in my life right now and committing myself to someone else is probably the most dangerous thing I could be doing to myself. My only two regrets in life are, one, skipping Katy Perry for Mayday Parade at the Warped Tour last year and, two, not experimenting with cocaine after my last exam of this past year of university. I'm the least excited person for my birthday, not being a bummer about it, but I'm really not that excited. I'll make the most of it, though, or else I might regret it later. I've accepted the fact that I’m not going to find a job this year, so I’ve quit looking. I wish I spoke better French. Bye :D | 
